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ANCIENT SEAPORT OF SG BATU Wrecks of ships have been discovered in the Sg Batu site in Kedah, pointing to a civilisation said to date back to the first century CE Beneath the pockets of placid, murky waters surrounded by wild bushes and oil palm trees lies a secret hidden for over 2,000 years. A thriving seaport called Kataha once stood at a site which only fish and archaeologists can access now. Archaeologists have spotted wrecks of ancient ships embedded in the muddy floor of what was once an ancient river which flowed through the historical site of Kedah Tua (old Kedah). The site, now known as Sungai Batu Archaeological Complex, is home to the oldest civilisation in Southeast Asia where the remains of the earliest human-built structures have been found. Universiti Sains Malaysia Global Archaeological Research Centre director Professor Datuk Dr Mokhtar Saidin says his team has conducted geophysics analysis at the swampy site. "We discovered the remnants of...

POWER Once upon a time, a very strong lion saw a little cat in a big jungle." He looks like a member of my race. Why is it he is so small? Maybe something unpleasant has happened to him. I must find out the truth." The lion whispered to himself looking at the cat unbelievingly. He called the cat and said, "You look like a lion. Why is it that you are so small and weak?".  The cat thought, "If I tell him that I'm not a lion he will probably hurt me." He then said, "Yes, I belong to your family. I used to be a real lion." Saying this he started crying. The lion sympatized with him. "Just tell me what's happened to you. I'll try to help you. I'm the strongest creature in this jungle," he said, showing off his muscles. The cat said, " I was caught by human being. He tortured me a lot. I became weaker and weaker day after day. I'm now so weak that I can't protect myself." The lion became red with wr...

A Wonderful Computer Scale While Milgrom waited at the airport to board his plane, he noticed a computer scale that would give your weight and a fortune. He dropped a quarter in the slot and the computer screen displayed. "You weigh 195 pounds, you are married and you're on your way to San Diego," Milgrom stood there dumbfounded. Another man put a quarter and the computer read, "you weigh 184 pounds, you're divorced and you're on your way to Chicago." Milgrom said to the man : "Are you divorced and on your way to Chicago?" "Yes," came the reply. Milgorm was amazed. Then he rushed to the men's room, changed his clothes and put on dark glasses. He went to the machine again. The computer read : "you still weigh 195 pounds, you're still married. And you just missed your phone to San Diego!" Alat Timbang Berkomputer Yang Hebat Milgrom sedang menunggu di lapangan kapal terbang untuk menaiki kapal...

Fool or Lost? A   :   Hello, boy. Where does this go? B   :   It doesn't go anywhere. It always stays here. A   :   How far is it to the next town? B   :   I don't know. I never measured it. A   :   (angrily) What do you know? You seem very strange. You a big fool. B   :   Maybe I am fool, but at least I'm not lost. Bodoh atau sesat? A   :   Hai, budak. Ke manakah jalan itu tuju? B   :   Jalan ini tidak ke mana-mana. Ia sentiasa berada di sini. A   :   Berapakah jauh hendak ke bandar seterusnya? B   :   Saya tak tahu. Saya tidak pernah mengukur jalan ini. A   ;   (marah) Apakah kamu tahu? Kamu sangat pelik. Bodoh betul. B   :   Mungkin saya bodoh sekurang-kurangnya saya tak sesat. Diterjemah oleh : Teratai Melur E-mel : terataigenius@gmail.com **For translation services, kindly email to the above email.   **Jika perluka...

Mark Twain and his friend Mark Twain was a famous American writer. He wrote many humorous stories. He also liked to play jokes on his friends. One day, a friend of his lost his money an asked Twain for help. Twain said, "I am sorry. But I have very little money with me. I don't have enough money to pay for both your ticket and my own." His friend was very sad. Twain said, "you can get on the train with me. When the conductor comes to collect tickets, you can lie under my seat." The friend finally agreed. Later, when the conductor came, Twain showed him two tickets and said to the conductor, "my friend is a very interesting man. When he rides on a train, he doesn't like to sit on the seat. He prefers to lie under the seat." Everybody then looked at the man under the seat and laughed at him loudly. Mark Twain dan sahabatnya Mark Twain penulis Amerika yang terkenal. Dia banyak menulis kisah lucu dan suka mengenakan sahabatnya. Pad...

LAPORAN KETUA AUDIT NEGARA 1.   Di negara lain, laporan ketua audit negara akan dijadikan dokumen umum. Akan tetapi, di Malaysia, laporan Ketua Audit Negara dijadikan rahsia Kerajaan, tidak boleh diakses oleh orang umum. Ini dilakukan walaupun terdapat peruntukan di dalam Perlembagaan bahawa laporan ini harus diserahkan kepada Agong dan atas arahan Baginda, ia harus dibentangkan di Parlimen. 2.   Dr Kissinger, Menteri Dalam Negeri Amerika Syarikat pernah berkata bahawa penciptaan mesin Xerox memudahkan lagi pendedahan. Sejak itu, kita telah melalui perjalanan jauh untuk penciptaan internet dan telefon bimbit penghantaran secara elektronik. Kesemua dokumen boleh disalin dan disiarkan ke seluruh dunia. Bahan rahsia telah menjadi sejarah. Kelebihan sistem keselamatan telah digodam oleh pengguna komputer amatur. 3.   Begitu juga laporan Ketua Audit Negara. Sepatutnya semua orang sudah dapat membacanya jika tidak dimilikinya atau mempunyai salinannya. 4. ...

The Mirror's Guilty! Once a upon a time, a peasant found a mirror. He had never seen such a thing in his life. He looked at the mirror for a moment. It scared him. "What a dangerous man he is." He thought. "He looks like a real thief. This must be a man who steals the villagers's property. I'd better take him home and show him to my wife. I will then have an eyewitness I tell others about the thief."  He then rushed back home to show the mirror to his wife. Once home, he gave the mirror to his wife and said, "Look! I have found the man who steals from the villagers." His wife looked at the mirror and was shocked suddenly. "What a big liar my husband is!" The woman thought, "this is not a man. This is a woman who seems to be a real witch! Her eyes tell me that she can seduce men very easily.  Now I understand that why my husbands spends most of his time out and always pretends that he is busy. This bastard has been tr...

MISTAKE Written by a confident lady After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them... His theory is the car will be stolen if left at the ignition key slot! Immediately, I rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion.... His theory was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, description of the car parked etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that the car had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband, "Honey, (I stammered; I always call him 'honey' in times like these), I left my keys in the car.... and it has been stolen....

THE POET AND THE KING Once a upon a time, a King had a private poet. Sometimes he would ask the poet to read some good poems for him to enjoy. One day the King decided to write a poem himself. After he finished writing, he called the poet and said, "Today I have tried hard to write a poem out of my own experience. I want you to listen to it carefully." He then begin to read the poem with as much feeling as he could. At the end, he turned to the poet and said, "How was it?". The poet paused a moment and said, "Your Excellency, unfortunately I have to say that it was not so strong. It's a very poor work." The King became angry and asked the soldiers to send him to the stable for two nights because of his bad judgement!. A few months later, the King tried to test his ability in writing again. He then called for the poet and read him the poem. After he finished reading, he turned to the poet and said, "How was this one?". The poet...

ORANG-ORANG BODOH 1.   Saya diberitahu bahawa Sarawak Report berjaya mendapat rahsia rasmi laporan Audit Negara mengenai 1MDB dan mereka  kata ia satu laporan yang teruk. Terdapat banyak laporan salah termasuk jenayah yang dilakukan oleh orang-orang dalam 1MDB termasuk Pengerusi Lembaga Penasihat sehingga didorong untuk membawa tuduhan jenayah dibawa ke atas Pengerusi dan para pekerja 1MDB. 2.   Akan tetapi, kita semua tahu bahawa P.N. terdahulu - Peguam Negara telah mengisytiharkan bahawa laporan Audit Negara tidak menunjukkan Najib telah melakukan sebarang kesalahan atau jenayah. P.N. sekarang telah menolak laporan P.N. terdahulu tetapi beliau menggunakan Akta Rahsia Rasmi untuk menghalang orang awam mengakses untuk laporan ini. 3.   Sudah pasti, kedua-dua P.N., para pekerja di Jabatan Audit Negara, di pejabat Peguam Negara dan  di Jawatankuasa Kira-Kira Wang Negara mengetahui kandungan laporan ini tetapi mereka tidak akan buka mulut. Mulut m...

LUCK Years ago, a poor peasant was trying to change his life. Whatever he tried was useless: He was still poor and helpless. One day while working on his land, he thought, "I have done everything I could to get a better life. Why can't I change it? Maybe my luck is sleeping in a very far land! I'd better go and awaken my damned luck. It will certainly change my life!". He then decided. He then left everything to find his sleeping Luck. Days and nights passed as he traveled impatiently toward his luck. Somewhere on the way, he came across to a very weak lion. "Where are you going man?" The lion asked. "I'm going to awaken my sleeping luck to change my life." The man replied proudly. The lion said, "I have been seriously sick for a long time. Please tell your luck about my situation and ask him to prescribe something for me so that I can get well again." The man agreed and kept travelling. After some time, he met a farmer s...